“They f*ck you at the drive-thru.”
I can’t recall the exact line that Joe Pesci delivered in the movie Lethal Weapon while sitting in the back seat of a car, driven by Mel Gibson, which had just left the drive-thru window.
But I do recall the dozens (no, hundreds) of times that I have uttered something very similar while digging through bags of stuff, trying to find what I did order, while exiting a drive-thru.
So call me crazy, but I have a new hero of sorts in a one Christopher M. Lavigne of North Kingstown, RI.
As reported in Saturday's Providence Journal, it seems that the “zesty sauce” was missing from Mr. Lavigne’s drive-thru order at a local Burger King.
But instead of driving away and uttering something like, “They f*ck you at the drive-thru,” Mr. Lavigne parked his car. Entered the Burger King. Let loose some major “F*s” of his own at the offending employee. Kicked in the door as he exited. Broke the glass. Drove away. Got caught by a North Kingstown police officer soon thereafter.
So now Mr. Lavigne finds himself in a tad bit more trouble than missing his zesty sauce. Yes, Mr. Lavigne has been charged with vandalism and disorderly conduct.
Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t condone uncivil behavior. I have never (intentionally) broken any laws. I have certainly never been arrested. Charged. Or jailed.
But I could be.
Because I have “F*ck You'd” more Burger King, McDonald’s, Dunkin’ Donut, Starbuck’s, Taco Bell, Wendy’s… and you name it…. drive-thru employees than I dare to mention.
Because yes, I DO expect to get Jane’s Mocha Coolata with skim milk. I DO expect my husband’s DD coffee to be dark with no sugar, not light with extra freakin’ sugar. I DO expect to get Audrey’s Soft Taco with no tomatoes. I DO expect to get my grandson’s burger with NO FREAKIN’ ONIONS.
NO, I AM NOT A VIOLENT MENOPAUSAL LADY.
OK, calm down.
And although I do understand that we live in a hurried, frazzled society of get-me-this QUICK and get-me-that DOUBLEQUICK…
…if all of you fast food companies are going to OFFER fast food at the drive-thru, just PLEASE get it right. Write my order correctly. Or enter it into your computer correctly. Take two seconds to repeat my order. Let me have a moment to actually check my order (and this also involves the guy or gal behind me, up my car’s ass, honking like there’s no tomorrow).
Hey, Mr. Lavigne. I feel your pain.
But maybe we should all take pause here and reassess what we, as a frenzied society (including the improperly trained employees), bring to the burger table.
Do I need help? Or should I just park my car and head on inside?