In My Shoes

Last night I was making dinner when I looked over my shoulder and thought to myself, “Who is that little girl stomping through the kitchen in my shoes?”

I wasn’t so much questioning her identity as I was marveling at her very existence. In that moment, as I diced an onion for the horseradish pasta salad I was craving, the October air was abnormally warm in its gentle push through the windows, and the waning daylight was natural and calm. It wasn’t unlike other occasions over the past thirty years when I felt relaxed and unattached to time. The difference between last night and the rest of my life was the girl with tiny feet passing through my periphery in very, very big shoes.

A year ago*, she was just learning to walk . A year before that, she mostly laid there, sleeping, slurping, burping and pooping. Twelve months prior, I had just discovered that The Partner and I would be having a baby. My notions about what it meant to be a parent were so hazy as to be completely opaque. I had no idea that there would be…

A little girl, at home in my kitchen, at home in my shoes. A girl who got none of my looks except my big forehead and my thin hair. A girl with her own ideas, fears, taste and motivation. Three years ago, I couldn’t have known how the setting sun in a dim room would spotlight this relative newcomer on her halting trip across the tile, and how she’d stop in the middle and look at me from a perch made much higher by my stacked heels.

“Hug, mom,” she called out, her arms extended, beseeching both me and balance.

I laid down my utensils on the cutting board and made my way over to her. I kneeled down, wrapping my arms around her mid-section. She leaned into the hug. Her hands rested on my shoulder blades.

“I love you,” I said.

“I love you, mom.”



*It was exactly one year ago. To the day. I just realized that now as I copied the link to my blog post about her first steps and saw the date. Isn’t it funny how the subconscious can push through the crowded calendar of daily living and help keep priorities in check?

Pay Day

No one can deny that payday is their favorite day of the week. But what happens when you are no longer the employee –but rather the boss? And just how much do you pay these micro employees? And just what do their job descriptions entail?

At Casa Del Whirlwind, pay is at an all time low. All work is done on a volunteer basis. So far, there has been no mutiny, but I feel those days are numbered. With a growing affection to all things Pokémon and knowledge gleamed from communicating with peers*, it's only a matter of time before they demand an allowence.

So far, it’s been accepted that it is their job to help set the table, clear their plates when finished, help make their beds and pick up toys when they are finished playing with them. Einey has even started helping with the laundry, if she’s with me, she’ll try to mate socks and fold the washcloths. Moe feels it’s her duty to clean the lint filter and will fight for that job. All three of the girls take turns making sure the dog is fed and has clean water. Come time to feed the lizard, they take turns going to the pet store and “paying” for the crickets and then carrying them back home. Other than that, their other responsibilities are finishing their homework when they come home from school and being nice to their siblings. Now granted, not every task is carried out without complaint, but they usually get most of it done.

During the summer months, they help outside by raking, planting, and carrying sticks to new locations. They pull weeds and pick the vegetables. None of this is required of them, they just think its fun to help. When does it go from being fun to being a chore?

Apparently I should be paying them for these tasks. Or so it's been mentioned. Just when should they get an allowance? And for what tasks? Is it too much to just expect them to do basic household help without expecting money for it? Or should I have to pay them to do things that should be their responsibility to do in the first place?

*Daughter goes to a private school where not only is it apparent that many kids get allowances, but also the Tooth Fairy leaves $5.00 per tooth.