Standardized Tests

Sometimes I surprise myself. I'm not a big proponent of the standardized tests that are now required in order to graduate from high school in Massachusetts. I don't think that the test is a good one, nor do I think that the pressure to teach to the test is a great idea for curriculum. Lastly, I think it's horribly unfair to require every student to pass the test, regardless of special needs. But that's neither here nor there. They're required by law, the kids have to take them, and they have to pass them in order to get their high school diploma.

Recently, Massachusetts has added a new science portion to the test. Last week, when the MCAS results were released, the news was bad. A large percentage of the kids taking the science portion of the test, which won't be required for graduation until the class of 2010, didn't pass the test. My daughter is a proud member of the class of 2010, and passing the test is necessary for her to be granted a diploma, so we all waited for the test scores to arrive with a sense of dread.

When she took the test last spring, she didn't think she did well. Her particular test was in physics, and she got a great grade in the class and I know she learned all the salient points of the class, but she was worried she didn't pass. That's a lot of pressure on a kid, knowing that she's in the first class required to pass this section of the test as well as all the other sections.

The MCAS is a well-respected test. It has consistantly been rated as the best standardized test in the nation. For the most part, it does test what the state curriculum teaches. There are some oddities on this test, like the infamous 'stem and leaf plots' which are taught in 4th grade here in MA, but are not taught in many other places, leaving kids who move into the state post 4th grade in a pickles, but that's a problem with a non-standardized curriculum, one of the worst features of the NBLB statute.

Today in the mail we got the test results. I opened them with trepedation, thinking that she'll probably have scored in the 'needs improvement' segment. Imagine my shock when I saw that not only did she pass the test, she did so with a really great score, almost in the Advanced category. She was so surprised when I told her. She honestly was sure she had failed, and it was great to hear how surprised and proud she was. And I'm proud too, damn it. I hate standardized testing, but I have to admit I was thrilled to see she had passed when so many of the other kids in her class did not.

I still don't believe in requiring a test to be passed in order to graduate from high school, but I have to admit, I'm excited for my daughter to know she passed.

Now we wait for my son's scores. He has to pass everything this year for his diploma. I'm sure he passed everything, but the dread of waiting continues.

Sukkot: The Festival of Booths

Have you seen some strange booth-like shacks in people's backyards and driveways in the past few days? Seen people having lunch and dinner in these little shacks? Entertaining their friends and family with big dinners and then singing until late into the night? Want to know what these people are doing, and why the little shacks appear and then disappear a few days later?


This is the festival of Sukkot, literally translated as the festival of booths. It is a period when your Jewish neighbors fullful the mitzvah of building and then 'living' in the sukkah for 8 days. In modern times, most people don't actually live in the sukkah anymore, but they do eat in them, and occasionally sleep in them.



When I was a child, nobody had a sukkah that we knew, and we grew up in a very observant Jewish community. To fulfil the mitzvah you ate in the synagogue's sukkah but building and decorating your own backyard sukkah wasn't done. Or if it was, it wasn't common. But that changed in the past 20 or so years. Every year more and more Jewish families purchase or build a sukkah, until these days when it's common to see them sprout up all over our town during sukkot. In fact, one of the things we like to do as a family is drive around the Centre and check out all the different sukkahs that are up, especially those in driveways. There's one in town that has an actual door and windows in it. Tres fancy!



The lumberyard/handware store nearby actually sells sukkah kits every year. Our first family sukkah was one of these, but we only used it for about 3 years and then we graduated to the extreme sukkah, which is easy to put up, works well in rain and cold weather to block the wind, and is very easy to decorate. It is a canvas sukkah, hung on steel poles that screw together easily. It takes about an hour to put up, and about 3 hours to decorate!



The sukkah is supposed to have at least 3 sides, and the roof is made of living material like branches, palm fronds, or bamboo mats. You must be able to see through the roof. The rest of the materials can range from wood to plastic to canvas. Ours is the canvas one seen throughout this post. We like it because it's easy to assemble and warm! On these cold New England nights, you want a sukkah that will protect you from the wind and possibly from rain. The canvas sukkah does both admirably.


This is the Jewish family's time to get down and funky and decorate the sukkah with hanging fruits, fancy lights, cards and pictures, etc. Most have a folding table and chairs that people squish around. In our sukkah we use a fall theme with silk leaves and lots of little fairy lights, fancy fruits we purchase left over after that OTHER holiday where people decorate to the utmost, and lots of fall type decorations. Every year we get a few more things as other stuff breaks or disintegrates from being outside in questionable weather.



When my kids were little, they used to look so forward to sleeping in the sukkah. Now, not so much. It's cold here at night, and they're older and complain about sleeping on the ground, blah blah blah. That's OK. I don't sleep in it either.


But when they were little, and we lived in California, there was nothing more exciting than camping out in the sukkah! Weren't they cute?

A very serious topic - helping your child cope with death

A girl from Belmont, MA died on the soccer field where she was playing on Saturday. She ran off the field and into her father's arms... where she collapsed. She never regained consciousness. Her name was Maeve. She was only six years old.

My heart goes out to her parents. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose a child at such a young age, preexisting condition or not. The grief must be crushing but an adult has the emotional and intellectual capacity to deal with death. A six year old doesn't.

This morning all of Maeve's first grade classmates should be returning to school but instead I believe they'll be attending grief counseling. But how do you explain death to a six year old, an age group that experts believe is too young to understand the concept, or any age for that matter?

I know it's not very easy to explain death to any child, especially to those so young. My own daughter has, unfortunately, attended three separate funerals with me in just two and a half short years of life but I've escaped the really tough questions because she usually forgets them soon after she's asked. But there will come a day in my life, and yours if it hasn't happened already, when I'll have to try to explain what happens to our loved ones when they die. I am not looking forward to that day at all.

I'm no counselor, and I'm certainly not an expert, so I was wondering how I as a parent could find information on helping my child understand death. Thankfully there are resources easily found on the internet that can help. One site I found particularly helpful was the Hospice Foundation of America. Another web page that offered important information for helping kids deal with death was this one on the Kids Health website. There are many more sites out there, you just need to know how to use a web browser and you'll be inundated with information on helping explain death to children. Most offer the same tips, such as avoiding euphemisms like "gone to sleep" or "losing a loved one", because children around six years old think very literally and they might believe that their friend or relative has, in fact, gone to sleep and will wake up soon. Or worse, they themselves might be afraid to fall asleep because the child might be afraid they won't wake up.

Here's another website I found interesting - the page on PBS.org written after Fred Rogers died.

There are, of course, books you can purchase or check out at your local library as well. Like this one, for kids. Or this one, to help parents learn to teach their children about death.

Like I mentioned before, I'm no expert. I'm better at teaching people how to deal with the death of their dog or cat. And these links are just a few places to start. How do you handle the topic of death with your kids?

This land is my land, this land is your land

Yesterday, my husband, daughter and I took a meandering drive down rt. 140, past rolling hillsides and dense woods, before finally getting on rt. 2 to our final destination - the North Quabbin Garlic and Arts Festival in Orange, MA.

This was our second time attending the festival. We believe the abundance of fresh, locally grown garlic and other organic produce is well worth the crowds, as this event has gotten to be quite popular. Especially on a sunny, 65 degree Sunday in September.

The garlic is plentiful and you can find it in everything from freshly baked bread to ice cream. The faces of the people are happy and relaxed and there are local artists selling their wares and demonstration on everything from cooking to renewable energy. Peace, love and garlic. It's cool, man.

But beyond the drum circles and farm animals and wool blankets made on wooden spinning wheels there are booths dedicated to educating the masses on the importance of maintaining open land. In this area land seems to be plentiful, as most people in the state are reluctant to live that far away from any major city, but residents of the surrounding towns feel differently.

They see the farms going bankrupt. They see their children moving away and developers moving in, driving up the housing prices. Slowly, the older woman with the steely gray hair tells me, but it's happening.

I understand where her concern lies, I live in a town that has seen an explosion of growth over the last decade. McMansions and cul-de-sacs are much more profitable than the horse farms that used to dominate the landscape, and town officials have allowed the building to continue in the name of the almighty tax dollar. But there are groups who, like the women at the booth in Orange, are dedicated to the conservation of undeveloped land. They're small but mighty and they're not afraid to stand up for what they believe in.

New England used to be an area of thick forests and in some parts the old trees are still there, thriving. But in parts of our region the influx of home owners looking to live near their technology jobs or take advantage of our first-rate hospitals and colleges and universities, not to mention the natural beauty of our states, has overpowered the landscape.

I'm not an expert on land conservation so it feels wrong to include a bunch of facts and figures with this post. I wouldn't know if they were true anyway. I only know what I see. But I am a concerned resident of this state and this region and I do wonder what's the next step. I can't stop people from moving here and I certainly can't stop a development company from clearing another field to slap up a bunch of condos.

However...

I do know this: I can support the garlic farmer, the organic vegetable farmer, the local chicken farmer where I can get fresh eggs. I can try my hardest to join the local CSA. I can, possibly, join my town's land conservation commission or, at the very least, support their efforts through fund raisers and town meetings.

After that, I don't know. But I'm up for suggestions. It would be a shame to lose this beautiful land we're so lucky to be living on to 3,000 square foot houses with media rooms and four car garages.

Cape Cod in the Fall

One of the things I love about living on Cape Cod is the way the people leave at the end of August. Don't get me wrong - I'm not a tourist-hater - but the drop in population (and traffic) is always welcome. Since we moved here almost 8 years ago, the year-round population has increased to almost 250,000 residents spread throughout the Cape. In contrast, I read a recent article that said almost 6 million people visit the Cape each year, which is roughly equivalent to the entire population of the state of Massachusetts!

With this kind of population explosion and contraction each year, many businesses shut down for the off-season. Over the years that we have lived here, I have discovered many year-round places to enjoy, but if you are thinking of coming here for a visit, I recommend coming in the fall. September and October are great down here - the weather is mild, still hot enough for the beach at times but cooler at night. The seasonal businesses don't begin shutting down until the end of October. You can drive up to almost any restaurant, park right in front, and be seated immediately, no matter how crowded and exclusive it may be in the summer months.

The best part is the great outdoors. Right now, it's green and lush outside, but in a few weeks, the colors will start to come out. The cranberry bogs will turn scarlet, and the trees will flame, and a walk around the bog in the back of our house will be a new adventure for my kids. The bugs that make slogging through the woods miserable for them will go away, and as the undergrowth thins out the kids are happy once again to go poking around for rocks and leaves and twigs - treasure!

If you are thinking of coming to the Cape in the fall with your kids for outdoor fun, The Insider's Guide to Cape Cod website has loads of information. There are conservation areas and walking trails all over the Cape. One of our favorite places is the Botanical Trails in Yarmouthport. You can also find guides on the websites of most towns under conservation or recreation. For example, here is the list of downloadable PDF files for various Barnstable trails.

For rainy days, there are other options, such as the Cape Cod Children's Museum, but honestly? Some of the best nature walks I've had with my kids have been on these not-too-warm, not-too-cold drizzly fall days ...just like today!

True (school) colors

When I was young, my parents sent my sister and me to a small, private Catholic elementary school. In kindergarten little more was required of us than sleeping on the appropriate mat at nap time (do they even do that anymore in kindergarten?) and showing up properly clothed and washed, which usually meant clean play clothes with no rips or tears.

Once we graduated from kindergarten and became first graders it became a requirement to don skirts or dresses, for the girls, and dress pants, collared shirts and clip on ties for the boys. And this was strictly enforced. If you showed up in something other than the required dress your mother would be called and you'd have to spend the time waiting for her in the principal's office.

Even in winter the girls would have to wear a skirt or dress of some sort and if the weather got below a certain temperature we were begrudgingly allowed to wear dress pants under our skirts. Tres chic.

Although, occasionally I wore culottes to school. I felt like such a rebel.

This dress code went on for some time until about five or so years ago, when the perceived guidelines of "dress attire" was strained to the breaking point, with colored denim jeans being passed off for slacks and sweatshirts or t-shirts being worn on days other than the hard won "grub days". The principal decided that a dress code was in order, or more to the point, a school uniform.

Sure, the kids hated it at first but from what I heard from my mother, who was then still alive and working at the school as its secretary, it became easier and easier to convince the children that the uniform could be worn with pride.

But these were elementary school children.

And the uniform was required at a private school.

This year at Lawrence High School in Lawrence, MA a mandatory school dress code is now being enforced. And it's not just dress pants and skirts, but full uniforms with collared polo shirts and khaki pants.

The school is broken up into six smaller schools based on the student's prime area of study - for instance, math, science and technology or health and human services - and this year administrators are requiring students to wear color-coded uniforms to indicate which school they belong to.

"It's unusual," said Superintendent Wilfredo T. Laboy, who launched the six schools within one as part of his educational overhaul effort for city schools. "But all the research that supports uniforms shows that it creates team spirit, it creates identity, it creates collaboration." (source: Boston Globe)

This was a big topic of discussion on the local radio talk shows today. Lawrence High is a public school. Are civil liberties being trampled on? Are administrators crossing a line by making school uniforms in a public, city funded school mandatory? Does having a school uniform hinder a student's individuality and ability to express themselves through their clothing? Or does this cut down on the amount of obscenely low-waisted jeans that show off a girl's thong - not to mention the low-wasted pants that show off a boy's boxers?

The uniforms are not being paid for by the city. Parents can purchase their children's uniforms through three stores in Lawrence for much cheaper than a pair of trendy jeans.

I don't know how I feel about this personally. My daughter isn't even old enough for pre-school (now that is a whole other issue entirely) so the possibility of school uniforms is not really in our near future. If I sent her to a private school I wouldn't take issue with mandatory uniforms, but I will admit that enforcing this in public schools has made me think.

What if this had been the rule when I was in high school? I certainly wouldn't have liked it. But it would have saved me from matching my Cosby sweater with my double layers of slouchy socks and pinch rolling my pants.

Maybe uniforms aren't such a bad idea after all.

NE Mamas Recommend - Nashoba Valley Winery and Orchard

As one of our Mass mamas pointed out, autumn is knocking on our door. And to me that means apple picking season.

My poor, beleaguered husband, he had no idea what he was getting himself into when he met me. I live for apple picking season. I want my own bag and my own apple picking pole (although, after about fifteen minutes I'm usually done, spending more time eating the apples than picking them). I want to bring home many, many pumpkins to go with the obscene amount of mums I decorate my front steps with. I want it all.

Now I have a child who I've been introducing the wonders of fall to, and I have to admit it can be a bit trying. She has a limited attention span for the actual picking, but we still want to experience this bit of New England charm as a family, so our choices are:

Find a "family friendly" orchard with a snack shack and some playground equipment (not that there's anything wrong with them, but, personally, those types of places freak me out), wait for parking in a long line of cars all going to the same place, walk a gajillion miles from the parking lot to entrance of the place, hop on the back of a truck and get driven out to orchards that are too far for any self respecting toddler to walk to, all to spend five minutes picking apples and the rest of the time running after said toddler, trying to stop her from putting the worm-eaten apples off the ground in her mouth. Then giving up and buying a bag of employee-picked apples from the orchard shop, grabbing a jug of cider and some pumpkins and getting the hell out of Dodge.

Or...

We could drive to Bolton, Massachusetts to Nashoba Valley Winery and Orchard with a pre-made picnic lunch, park our car with relative ease, pre-pay for our bag of apples, grab our picking poles and walk to the orchard to pick our own fruit... Where the toddler will, in fact, try to eat worm-eaten apples off the ground, but location isn't going to change that.

Then, oh my dear lord, then we can run inside to the winery and pick a bottle from the large selection of Nashoba's locally made wine (they make pretty good beer and spirits, too), where they'll uncork it for you - if you're not like me and don't carry a corkscrew in your purse for this very occasion - maybe make our way over to the refrigerated case for some Mass. made cheese and then head outside to enjoy the spoils of our labor on Nashoba's expansive lawn.

Sounds heavenly doesn't it? Let me tell you, it is.

I almost don't want to share this gem with you because, admittedly, at the height of the season it gets very crowded (sorry, there will be crowds). But my husband and I love it and Nashoba is extremely family friendly - you can even bring your leashed dogs! Just remember to pick up after the pooches, because you don't want to ruin it for everyone else.

We bring a blanket and a soccer ball to kick around with our daughter and then we usually eat a very leisurely lunch and sip our wine - which is much better than you think it would be, for wine made in Massachusetts. We're not exactly the wine capital of the world, you know? And then, if the weather is really nice, we'll play some more ball or just chill on our blanket sharing the cheese and crackers and eating apples for the rest of the afternoon.

The view from their lawn is of the valley below and in fall that means blazes of red, orange and yellow. Very complimentary to the church steeples in the distance. And you don't have to just go in the fall. We go almost all year. We've been there to pick peaches (they're picking right now as a matter of fact) at the end of summer and we were there in the spring for my mother's day lunch. We haven't been in the winter yet, for the Christmas tree lighting. Maybe this year.

And I haven't even gotten into their gourmet restaurant, J's. Love the Sunday brunch but that is not toddler friendly.

I cannot say enough about this place so I'll just shut up now and let you decide for yourself. But if you go to Nashoba Valley Winery, let me know. I'll meet you there with my corkscrew!